Tips for Going Out To Eat If You Struggle With Food & Body Image
Embracing Dinner: A Journey from Anxiety to Enjoyment
Going out to dinner used to be a daunting experience for me, filled with anxiety and second-guessing. I’d meticulously research menus, calculating calories, and planning my order down to the last detail. How many times did I settle for a boring salad with protein, drizzled with olive oil and vinegar on the side? More than I’d like to admit. I vividly recall a family dinner where I asked a waiter if the Brussels sprouts were cooked with butter, only to be met with exasperated looks from my family, who couldn’t understand why I was so fixated on a simple vegetable. “Lauren, it’s a Brussels sprout, just eat it,” they said. But for me, it was never just about the food; it was about control.
The Illusion of Control
When you’re entrenched in disordered eating, the obsession often transcends the actual act of eating. It becomes a misguided attempt to regain control over a life that feels chaotic. My sense of purpose and identity became so intertwined with my eating habits that they distorted my reality. I felt lost, as if my worth hinged on what I consumed and how I looked. The weight of this self-imposed pressure was exhausting, leaving me feeling disconnected from both myself and the people around me.
A Shift in Perspective
Fast forward to today, and I can confidently say that my relationship with dining out has transformed dramatically. After years of hard work, I no longer view restaurant menus as sources of anxiety. Instead, I look at them with excitement, eager to explore new dishes and share experiences with loved ones. This shift is one of the most rewarding aspects of my recovery.
Tips for Navigating Dining Out in Recovery
Here are some strategies that helped me navigate the transition from dread to delight when it comes to eating out:
1. Focus on Company and Conversation
One of the most liberating changes I made was shifting my focus from the food to the people I was dining with. Engaging in meaningful conversations and enjoying the company of friends and family turned dining into a joyful social experience rather than a stressful chore. When the focus is on connection, the food becomes secondary, allowing for a more relaxed atmosphere.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness has been a game-changer for me. By engaging my five senses during meals, I can stay grounded in the moment. I savor the aroma of the food, the textures, and the flavors, which enhances my overall dining experience. This practice helps redirect my thoughts when anxiety arises, reminding me that I am present, enjoying my meal, and not caught up in obsessive thoughts.
3. Plan Ahead with Professional Support
Working with an eating disorder therapist was instrumental in my journey. Before dining out, I would discuss my feelings and concerns, mapping out potential challenges I might face. After the meal, I’d reflect on my experiences, processing my emotions and reinforcing positive outcomes. This preparation and reflection provided a solid framework for tackling the emotional hurdles of eating out.
4. Use Distraction Techniques
When urges from my eating disorder creep in, I have a go-to mantra: “We don’t do that anymore.” This simple phrase serves as a reminder of my commitment to recovery and helps me replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Additionally, finding distractions—like engaging in lively conversations or enjoying the ambiance of the restaurant—can redirect my focus away from food-related anxieties.
5. Remember the Bigger Picture
It’s crucial to remind myself that one meal is just a small part of my life. This mindset shift has been liberating. It allows me to let go of the guilt that once accompanied indulging in a delicious meal. By reframing how I view dining out, I can approach it with a sense of freedom rather than fear.
6. Cultivate Self-Compassion and Flexibility
In recovery, self-compassion is essential. I’ve learned to treat myself with kindness rather than harsh judgment. Embracing flexibility with my food choices has been a profound shift. Instead of sticking to a rigid plan, I now allow myself to enjoy spontaneous options. This flexibility fosters a healthier relationship with food, making dining out a source of joy rather than stress.
Seeking Help and Support
If you’re reading this and find yourself struggling with food or body image, I encourage you to reach out for support. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Whether it’s through a therapist, a support group, or trusted friends, connecting with others who understand your struggles can be incredibly validating and helpful.
Dining out no longer fills me with dread; it’s now a cherished part of my life. The joy of sharing a meal with loved ones, the excitement of trying new foods, and the freedom to embrace the moment are gifts of my recovery journey. If you’re still grappling with similar anxieties, know that change is possible. With time, support, and patience, you too can transform your relationship with food and find joy in dining out.