Getting Through the Holidays: A Pep Talk for Food, Body, and Family Struggles
Written by: Lauren Larkin, LMHC
The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and abundance—but for many people who struggle with food, it can also be one of the most challenging times of the year. Patterns around food, body image, and exercise often have deep roots, shaped by family dynamics, childhood experiences, or even trauma. For some, being around family—and the associated food-centered traditions—can trigger stress, old habits, or negative self-talk that’s hard to escape.
If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. And while no single blog post can replace therapy, I want to share some human-to-human guidance and strategies that I’ve found helpful both personally and professionally.
Seeking Control in an Uncontrollable World
Many of the struggles people face around food, body image, or exercise come down to control. When we feel powerless in the face of others’ behaviors, opinions, or comments—especially around the holidays—we often turn to something we can control. For some, that might be how much or what they eat. For others, it might be how much they exercise.
But what if we shifted that focus? What if, instead of trying to control food or our bodies, we directed our energy toward areas of life that are fully within our control?
Ask yourself: What’s one thing I can control that has nothing to do with food? It could be:
Your daily routine
Your self-care practices
A hobby or creative outlet
The way you respond to stressful conversations
Focusing on these controllable areas can create a sense of stability and empowerment without relying on restrictive or compulsive patterns that ultimately leave you feeling stuck or frustrated.
Breaking the “All-or-Nothing” Cycle
A pattern I see often, especially during the holidays, is the “all-or-nothing” cycle: skipping meals, overeating later, and then trying to overcompensate through restriction or excessive exercise. This cycle can feel impossible to escape, but there are strategies to disrupt it.
Eating consistently is one of the most effective ways. Skipping meals in anticipation of a bigger meal later often backfires, leaving you feeling out of control and fueling guilt or anxiety. Eating regularly and intentionally helps your body recognize that food is abundant and safe. Over time, this consistency can recalibrate your hunger cues and reduce the need to seek control through restriction or overcompensation.
Remember: the goal isn’t perfection. Some days will go differently than you planned, and that’s okay. Mindsets can change, but only if we notice patterns and intentionally make adjustments. If nothing changes, nothing changes—so identifying small, manageable shifts is key.
Redefining “Good” and “Bad” Food
Another habit that can create stress around the holidays is labeling food as “good” or “bad,” or “healthy” versus “unhealthy.” This binary thinking often fuels guilt and shame, which can worsen cycles of restriction and overeating.
Instead, I encourage looking at what the food is made of and how it serves your body. Every food has value—it provides energy, nutrients, and enjoyment. Shifting to this perspective can reduce judgment and allow you to approach eating with curiosity rather than fear.
Small, Consistent Steps Matter
Navigating the holidays doesn’t require massive overhauls. Small, consistent steps—like focusing on what you can control, eating regularly, and adjusting your mindset around food—add up over time. These strategies are not just theoretical; I practice them myself and teach them to my clients every day.
I’ve also written a workbook on ongoing recovery, coming out next summer, because there’s so much more to say about finding balance with food, body image, and exercise—especially during challenging times like the holidays.
You’re Not Alone
If this holiday season feels overwhelming, I see you. You’re not alone. It’s okay to have messy moments, to struggle, and to not have all the answers. The important thing is to keep showing up for yourself, even in small ways. With patience, awareness, and self-compassion, it’s possible to navigate the holidays without falling back into old patterns.We can get through this together.
Feeling seen?
Whether you’re navigating anxiety, identity questions, fertility decisions, or eating disorder recovery—therapy can help you make space for it all.
NYC’s LEL Therapy specializes in treating eating disorders and food / body image issues. We offer relationship therapy, whether that be couples therapy, navigating platonic relationships or familial relationships. We specialize in trauma therapy. And we treat anxiety and general mental health conditions. We would love to help you on your mental health journey.