From Darkness to Light: My Journey of Healing and Purpose
Written by: Lauren Larkin, LMHC
Starting Over in New York City
At 22, I made the bold decision to move to New York City, freshly graduated and filled with dreams. But beneath that exterior of ambition, I was lost. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted to do. I had been grappling with an eating disorder for most of my adult life, burdened by the weight of silence and shame. I lacked the language to articulate my pain and the tools to begin healing.
Reaching My Breaking Point
Fast forward to age 25. After years of internal struggle, I reached a breaking point. I quit my job, packed up my life in New York, and entered eating disorder treatment, convinced that I was making a choice that would shatter my future.
I thought my life was “over.” The fears swirled in my mind: my reputation would be ruined forever, I would never have a successful career, and I would be too broken to form meaningful relationships. I believed that no one would want to “deal with me.”
Taking the Leap Into Treatment
Leaving New York felt like stepping off a cliff. I was terrified of what was ahead of me, but I knew I had to try. Eating disorder treatment was challenging. It was a confrontation with my inner demons, but also a glimpse of hope.
I learned the importance of vulnerability, and for the first time, I began to see the possibility of a different narrative, maybe a different life. One where I could heal and rebuild what I felt like I had lost.
Choosing a New Path
By the time I turned 27, I had made significant strides in my eating disorder recovery. Throughout my recovery process, I developed a desire to help others navigate their own battles in recovery, so I decided to go back to school to become a therapist.
This was no small feat. The thought of taking out student loans and starting over was overwhelming. Doubts crept in: Would I be good enough? Would I be able to balance my ongoing recovery while pursuing a new career?
Betting on Myself
With relentless encouragement from friends, family, and my own therapist, I took a leap of faith. I nannied while in school in order to make ends meet. And I did everything I could to protect my recover process while juggling the demands of grad school.
It wasn’t easy, but I prioritized my growth, knowing that every step forward was speaking to my resilience.
Building the Life I Once Thought Impossible
It’s amazing today to sit back and find myself in a place I never thought was attainable. I just returned from an amazing vacation in a city I adore. I own my own company. I have an incredible team of therapists who work for me at LEL Therapy. Together, we work so hard to create a supportive space where we can help people in their recovery journeys — people who are in a similar place to where I once was. I share my story on social media and through speaking, hoping to inspire others who may feel trapped by their circumstances.
What I Once Thought Was the End Was Actually the Beginning
Reflecting on my journey, I realize that what I once thought was the ‘end of the world’ was actually the beginning. Life is a series of chapters, and even when it feels like we’re facing the final page, there’s often a new one waiting to be written.
If you find yourself in a dark place, please reach out and ask for help. Seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can guide you. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
The Winding Road of Healing
Healing is not linear; it’s a winding path filled with ups and downs. There will be moments of doubt and fear, but there will also be moments of triumph and joy. Celebrate every small victory. The small moments are such an integral part of the big victories. Each victory, no matter the size, are part of your unique journey.
Finding Purpose Through Connection
As I continue to help others, I’m reminded of the power of connection and the importance of sharing our stories. By opening up about my struggles, I’ve not only found my purpose but also created a community where others can feel seen and supported.
Each person’s journey is different, but the underlying truth remains the same: we are stronger together, and we are not meant to do this alone.
Your Story Is Still Being Written
If you’re in a place where you feel lost or hopeless, remember this: your story is still being written. Embrace the uncertainty and be open to new possibilities. Healing takes time, but with persistence and support, you can emerge from the shadows and create a life filled with purpose and passion.
Your journey may just be beginning, and the world needs your unique voice and story. Keep going.
In Need of Support?
At LEL Therapy, we believe your darkest chapter can lead to your brightest one. Whether you’re navigating an eating disorder, trauma, relationship struggles, anxiety or general mental health concerns, we’re here to support you every step of the way.
You don’t have to do it alone!