How Does "Trauma Work" Work?
Trauma healing is NOT LINEAR!
If you’re new to therapy, or just coming to terms with traumatic events from your present or past, you might be unfamiliar with what the healing journey can look like. Where do you start? These three phases outlined below provide a framework for how I approach trauma work in therapy so it doesn’t feel so daunting. Keep in mind that there is no rush, no time limit, and no problem if you find that you move in and out of the different phases outlined below during your healing.
Safety & Warmth: First, in order to do trauma work and not become re-traumatized or overwhelmed, it is paramount that you feel safe and comfortable with your therapist. This is important in all therapy, but trusting and having a warm, empathetic connection to your therapist is especially important when you’re establishing a trauma narrative and speaking it out loud. Make sure to periodically check in with your therapist to see how the building of that connection is going, and don’t let anyone push you to disclose until you’re ready and feel safe.
Mourning & Reprocessing: I always tell clients that trauma memory isn’t stored like a video tape of your life. Some clients say they have no memories of the events that they consider to be traumatic. So what would reprocessing look like? It can be done even if you have fragmented/fuzzy memories, an overwhelming emotion, an overarching feeling that it exists, or if you remember every detail of a specific event. Reprocessing can include articulating your trauma to your therapist out loud, sharing how you felt in the moment and/or how it affects you in the present, having your experience validated, role playing talking to your abuser, writing letters to your past self, and so much more. The mourning process can look like talking through what experiences might have been lost, what might be different about your present and future, how the trauma affected your behavior patterns and personality traits, and your feelings about all of the above.
Integration & Community Support: This phase of trauma healing begins to piece the narrative of the trauma with your current narrative to create a cohesive whole with both integrated parts. You will hopefully at this time begin to show less symptoms of PTSD and more PTG (post traumatic GROWTH!) By allowing what you’ve processed to become a part of your current story, recognizing your strengths, and sharing them with close friends and loved ones, you will begin to minimize shame and increase social support in your life. It can be so healing to be validated by the people in your circle as well as your therapist.